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Life As a Teenager (is hard)


Written by Eric

You never really quite realize it…until your stuck in the middle of it. Being a teenager in this time and age, is an interesting proposition. On one hand, its easy to go to school and get decent grades, but on the other hand, getting into college and fitting into the social scene is no easier. In fact, its harder. Much harder.

What to Do?

The questions I am asking myself right now, is what do I do next? In my experience so far, that’s the most common question I end up asking myself. I had always thought I existed on a plane that was not so different, but not the same as everyone in my grade and school. Obviously, that’s silly and honestly a little idealistic. I’m no different from anyone else in my school besides my nuances. My parents can afford to send me to a private school, afford to buy me a car that retails for $30,000+ (er, maybe 25,000+ but you get the point), and afford to buy me more than enough to get by. But, I do have to recognize that by working the last three years, money means something. I do understand the concept of where things come from and what goes into making them….but, I still can’t (and will never) understand what it’s like to really really work for something. Making money is one thing (and I’m still proud of that fact), but when its really for fun and not for your next meal; it’s not the same.

I had always thought I lived by the mantra, “Life is short, eat dessert first.” In fact, I was never more wrong in my life. Not only have I never followed that rule, I don’t even believe in it. I can’t even start to imagine how I would start to live that saying. If my mantra represented my reality, it would go something like this: “Three steps forward, two steps backward.” In a sad way, that’s extremely true. Though, the reality is everyone struggles with their own personal issues at this age. Yet somehow I’m only starting to realize how wrong I was this entire time. It took me all four years of high school to finally start to see that I am the root of the problems. “You are your own worst enemy” is exactly what I am seeing now. Changing that has become my new goal, to finally relax a bit, to break the trend of mentally crashing half-way through the year, and to finally mature.

I’m sorry if this post doesn’t make much sense to anyone, in a way its a reflection piece for myself. By writing this, I’m able to organize my thoughts in my head in a fashion that makes sense only to me. I know what I need to do to finally change for the better, to truly understand what I need to become to succeed in my environment. The problem now is, how to go about it? I’ve already started changing in subtle ways I’ve noticed…the music I listen to is different, the way I approach life is different, and the way I talk is different. I’ve finally realized that I needed to take control of my own destiny, to seize life by its horns, to control it the way I want to. To finally have fun the final year of high school, to understand what was been plaguing my success the last three years.

The only things I’m worried about…are the bridges that I have burned along the way, the people I may have pissed off, the people I could have become better friends with, and the good friends I have lost. I have made a fool of myself way too often in the past, setting up traps for myself that I’m only beginning to see now. I don’t know how I will resolve these issues, but I do know one thing: I’m deeply sorry to those that have been affected by my previous actions. I don’t regret anything, but I do have worries…and I want to apologize to those who I haven’t done right.

I’m sorry.

Eric Huang


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